Yesterday's Tally

Yesterday morning I thought I'd count traffic violations by cyclists--specifically, running red lights and stop signs. Between 9:30-10:00 AM, on my way to work, I counted five violations.

Numbers 1 and 3 were insignificant, just breezing through a stop sign. Number two was more dramatic, an elderly cyclist who blew through a stop sign to cut me off and turn in front of me without a signal.

Number four was a young woman, unhelmeted, biking up Lyndale toward Loring Park (1650 Harmon Pl.) as I was. She flew past me to run through the double red lights at the 94 off-ramp that leads to Hennepin/Lyndale northbound, a particularly treacherous intersection no matter what. She wasn't going fast so I caught up easily through the park--I announced myself as I approached, "on your left," just as she neglected to do at any point. Our paths split just before reaching MCTC.

And rejoined when I turned off 11th St. onto the bike lanes on Hennepin Ave. , where she ran through at least one more red light. That's when I encountered number five, looking like a professional cyclist with Spandex biking shorts and t-shirt. How can someone spend so much money on equipment and so much time on exercise, and still be completely nescient of simple, obvious traffic law? He also ran through red lights whenever he felt like it.

Riding home, I had to go a different route to pick up some wrapping paper for my wife's birthday. This necessitated riding south on Hennepin Ave into Uptown, a route I had dreaded because it's competitive and combatative even as a motorist. However, on bike it wasn't terrible: cars didn't have much room to give me room, but no one shoved me out of the way or threatened me overly. The only incident was when a female motorist, parked and yapping on her cell phone, flung open her driver-side door as I rode past. I saw her sitting there and anticipated her thoughtlessness, but this is a nightmare of mine.

I'm in total dread of the day that, for whatever reason, I can't peer ahead into a car as I glide up to it, only to have the driver open the door as I approach. Minnesota drivers rarely look behind them to open their door, and young female drivers with cell phones never do. If you're in a car and you nearly tear their door off but for your last-second evasive maneuver, they are not repentant or frightened at all. They glare at you maliciously for neglecting to be at all times aware of their presence and to anticipate their actions, and to accommodate their will without any compromise on their part. Diligent readers will recall the time I was flipped off by a young woman on her cell phone, angry because she almost ran me and my wife over while turning at a No Turn On Red sign, on a red light.

But I imagine that one day I'm going to ride up, some thoughtless bint will heave her door open at the last second, and I won't have time to scream. I'll catch the narrow metal edge of the door in my collar bone, which will shatter, and my body will be spun off my bike. I'll tumble into traffic and likely be run over by whatever car is behind me at that moment. That car will race off into the distance, and the young woman will quickly get back in her car and likewise peel out. Neither driver believes they are responsible for their actions, and I will be left broken in the middle of the street until some visitor from out-of-state and in possession of a cell phone calls 911.